由肤浅开始

有些人去旅行从不携带相机，
因为他们相信，最感动的画面已在他们的脑海里，
他们拥有了一趟 最美丽旅程。
有些人爱阅读但甚少花钱把书带回去，
因为他们相信，翻阅过的书籍已在他们的脑海里，
他们拥有了最伟大的学问。
但殊不知，人类是健忘的。
看过的景色，翻阅过的书籍，
随着岁月的流逝，
很快的，也就退色了，
只剩下残留的记忆。
我必须承认我是肤浅的。
不管去哪，
我都要把每个景点，每个过程，
细心的用相机拍下来，
这样，我才踏实的觉得自己曾到过某个地方，
留下了倩影。
对学问也不例外，
对于我喜欢的书，
我会毫不吝啬的把它从书局里带回去，
这样，我才觉得我真正拥有了它。
我喜欢真实的东西。
或许你会问，什么是真实？
难道只有看得见的才算是真实？
当然不，但，对某些事物，
我必须藉由视觉和触觉来感受它切切实实地存在过，
发生过。
是的，我就是如此肤浅的一个人。
抽象的东西太深奥，我没弄懂它。
就因为我是肤浅的人，
家里也因此有许多被我网罗回来的战利品-书籍。
我当它们是宝贝似的呵护着。
就算翻阅过了，日子久了，
我还是会把它从新握在手上，
再翻阅一次。
谁叫我，是健忘的。
不例外，今天，我看了一本好书。
想说，与其一个人独占所有，
不如把一部分我喜欢的，觉得蛮有意思的，
和喜欢我的朋友们一起分享。
看，做我的朋友，还算是不错的吧？

对于插画，视觉系的书，你们有何意见或感想？
我喜欢视觉系作品，因为它的文字总是简短但并不简单。
色彩缤纷但不混乱。
足以带动整个故事，让它生动起来。
每当说起插图， 第一个想起的应该是吉米插画家。
但我家没有一本属于吉米的作品。
我有的，是恩佐。
在恩佐《寂寞长大了》的作品里，除了他自己画的插画，
他也为自己的插画加入了人物情节。
我没办法把每一篇文章和大家分享，
但，我选了些自己喜欢的文章放上来。
至于插画，你们还是花些小钱买本正版吧。



《面具》

大家都说戴着面具很虚伪
可是你真确定拿下了以后
人的真实不会更丑陋？

你真不需要因为虚伪而睡不着啊
你只要确定
世界因为你的面具变得更好

如果真是如此
那么你的虚伪是美德
不是罪

《假的》

我不冷漠
只是没有你所期待的热情

我是善良的
但也有一部分的邪恶

我相信爱
但你得接受
每个人爱的能力都有限

我经常说谎
但以下是诚实的

你对我的期待
其实都是来自想象
如果你失望了
这些我会检讨
但我不会让自己一直困在自责里

因为
那是想象骗了你

你因该知道
只要是想象
就有一半的机率
是假的

《坠落》

只要轻轻轻松开手。。。。
坠落，
何其简单。
也无声，
无息，
就像个自由的落体。
他们终究会懊悔忽视了你，
可那永远也只是燃烧过后的灰烬。。。。

《重生》

经过了死阴幽谷
我们看到了什么

人们恭喜你重生
可一切的一切也只是表示
我们是来到了一个新的
却不见得
是更好的世界

当我们看见了前所未有的美
又何尝
不会见到从未经历的坏

最后
新的世界与旧的世界全部相同
终究
得靠我们的心去决定

《悲观的力量》

当你相信所有最糟的事都是可能发生的
那么生命中其实充满无数的喜讯

当你知道人生来什么都没有
那么此刻你拥有的
全都是得到

你得承认
人活在这个世界上
终究是独自的来去
知道了这件事
你会发现此刻的你
其实还不算寂寞

人生最恶的结果
无非都将终结在死亡时
接受了死亡
你将清楚要怎样活着

我的哲学家导师说：

不要轻忽悲观的力量

当你了解了黑
也才能发现白的存在

你不必勉强自己只面向光明
你应该同时
看着黑暗

《嚷嚷着》

嚷嚷着
你告诉这世界
你对梦想的执著

嚷嚷着
你告诉这世界
你为梦想的牺牲

嚷嚷着，嚷嚷着
你怪所有人
看不见你美丽的愿景
嚷嚷着，嚷嚷着
你要所有人都来成全你

越来越大声
越来越大声
。。。。。。

可是
你永远不懂

那是你的梦
不是我们的

《不喜欢》

如果有人说他最讨厌数学
那么不用说
他以前一定常常拿低分

如果有人说他不喜欢运动
那么很可能
他从小就是跑不快的那一个

你为什么不画画？
因为你说
我画得没你棒

他为什么不写歌？
他说世上没有几个周杰伦

没有成就感也就没有所谓的兴趣吧
可是是谁决定了成就感？

胜利的另一面叫挫败
合格的另一面叫淘汰
精英的另一面叫庸才

冤枉啊！大人！
真的要那么多的竞争吗？
真的需要吗？

《第一个夜晚》

失眠的那一晚
我们围聚在一张空白的纸上

神秘的树蛙说
我可以给你灵感

哲学家羊说
我能给予你思想

狂野的狮子说
我会提供你饱足的热情

可是该怎么开始呢
我问

决心可以帮你
可是他们说
关于决心
只有你能给你自己

《格子》

你是否习惯了透过格子来看这个世界
家庭的格子、梦想的格子、人际的格子、
爱情的、价值的、道德的、政治的、

格子是否已局限你的眼界
切开你的判断能力
也切乱了你思考的一贯
然后你说的、你做的、你想的、
里头净是矛盾
而你却毫无意识

或许只是因为你习惯了
习惯了把格子里的景色
当作全貌

《素颜》

我真想给你一个灿烂的微笑
可是
我刚好有一点累

对不起
如果不小心让你看到我的素颜
答应我
你会原谅

《我很帅》

你大可以说
我真的很帅

如果有人问你
“此话怎说？”
你也不必一一的解释
因为失礼的人真的很多

冲浪有错吗？
没有错
自信有错吗？
没有
那么何况是快乐呢？

《我想跟你说》

我想跟你说，世界其实没有那么糟。
虽然有一天你会知道
真正的天空跟图书画里的不一样
我们无法坐在弯弯的月亮上，也不会有小精灵陪伴。
我们既不能在彩虹上行走，也不会飞翔。

可是也因为我们不能，所以我们学会了想象。

我想对你说，世界其实没有那么糟。
虽然有一天你会发现，
就算有一双脚，可是我们的自由却很少。
就算渴望着快乐，不快乐比例却更高。

可是，
绿叶不存在， 那么我们也看不到花朵。
悲伤不存在， 那么我们也看不到喜乐。

因此，你将逐渐体会到，
无法隔绝人生里的不如意，
原来，也是人生所以精彩的原因。

幸福是一种状态，不是时态。

《猫爱上幸福，鱼怎会知道》～橘子著

“你觉得幸福是什么?”
“大概是这样吧：
想起一个人的时候，嘴角不自主的会带着微笑，幸福。”
“怎么听起来很感伤的感觉？”
“为什么？”
“想起一个人，是因为对方不在身边了才会想他吧？这样就算是幸福的话，也已经是过去式了呀。”
“幸福又不代表两个人非得在一起不可。”
“分开了还有幸福的可能吗？”
“幸福是一种状态，不是时态。”

Grammar

Sylvene: Can you tell me what is the different between "different" and "Difference"? how to use them?
Alvin: We are different. The difference is you are girl and I am boy. different is adjective & difference is a noun.
Sylvene: Ok. I got it!
Alvin: so make sentence for confident and confidence.
Sylvene: Can I make this two words in one sentences?
Alvin: lol~ can! But can you?
Sylvene: "Alvin asked me to make a sentences for the words of confident & confidence."
Alvin: -.- Kill me.
Sylvene: actually make it to two also no problem. For example, Alvin asked me to kill him because i unable to make a sentences for word of "confident". & Alvin asked me to kill him because i unable to make a sentences for word of "confidence".
Alvin: ................................................................
Sylvene: okies la..actually i really understand. "Alvin & Vincent always confident about themselves and i curious where's their confidence came from?" now is ur turn to kill me.hahaa~

Bangkok- Food Chapter.

Our body weight had increased after back from Bangkok. It's obviously can be proved through my body figure now. Too bad that it's only work on my stomach & some other parts of my body, not on my breast =='' I left my home to Singapore and Thai for almost 17 days to stay together with my Leo. Last evening when I reached my lovely home, The 1st sentences that my lovely broth told me is "Wau.. you are getting fat now..."

Besides, my broth told me that my dad can't used with it when I'm not around him & bully him . He kept to ask my broth to open my photo album to show him about my life in Singapore and Thailand. Well, no surprise because I'm a little princess at home. The most he love at home. ok! this is not the main point I would like to mention here. The main point I want to tell is .. after my dad viewed my photos that I had posted in facebook, he said "hey son, Your sister looks like a bit fat right now.....do u think so?" and... my broth answered him "this is very obviously...yes! "

Dear, you raised me FAT within this 17 days!!
Unbelievable!!

Almost Thai food every days and I just took part of our daily foods in Thai to share with you guys. Sure we won't miss out Tom yum goong, green curry, Thai style fried rice and so forth. Thai food really nice!!

WorldInn hostel restaurant which just nearby our SUK11 hostel. Our first meal in Thai before check in.

Art of condoms

Next, Cabbages & Condoms Restaurant. Located in Sukhumvit Road in Bangkok.This restaurant helps fund population control, AIDS awareness, and a host of rural development programs. A lot of decoration made with condoms..example their lighting. Free of condoms after paid the bill.

Another Thai restaurant in Ayutthaya.

Thai Restaurants that in front of our hostel. cocktail, a big seduction for me even though I was still feeling sick that day. But still ordered a cup of Blue Ocean cocktail.

SUK11 restaurant had a promotion to their guest! Only 120bath/Set. Tasted nice. Got 8 prawns inside their tom yum goong..hehehee~

Some fast food & their traditional dessert!

10 Honest Reward

One of my friend's Paul just tagged me today for 10 honest reward and treaten me must be honest to list out 10 points about myself. Usually I will ignore this kind of message because of my lazy to think & write about it. But today my mood to come to urge me look at myself and share with people about myself.

1. People say women make by water. I definately agreed with that. I can cry whenever, wherever & whatever I likes. I can just cry because been touch by a story book, a drama storyline, when feel pressure, tired, uncomfrotable, helpless, sad, unhappy, disappointed, or even when I was angry with someone or some matter. An alternative way for me to release my emotion and I comfortable with it. Don't try to deprive my right as a lady/women.
   
2. Most of time, I feel happy as a girl instead of boy. As a girl, a lot of fashion can be wear on, can dress up nicely, make up, chit chat with buddies in a coffee shop after a long way shopping, can be pamper to parents and bf, can rely on a man sometimes while you are tired, can save of money sometimes when go out with male friends, a lot of lady privilege like discount on movie ticket for lady on each thurs, free a cup of beer at lady night, Karaoke special price for lady during happy hours in weekday etc. Our burden in life not as heavy as a guy. But, sometimes still... I wish I was a boy. especially during my menstruel periods every month!! Feel damn uncomfortable and unfair to as a female. 1st time in making love, it's pain, menstruel periods, it's pain too. and the most painful experience in life for a women-give birth. PAIN AGAIN!!! why we need to go through all of this when guys just feel "syok" for all the process??? Only god know.
   
3. I'm one of direction silly. A big problem in my life. I always make myself lost in somewhere. I cannot recognise my way home even I already stay for at least 5 years in Ampang. Tell my dad, as long as the public transport will bring me home. It's fine. The common circumstances that high frequently happens in my life, I was lost in the direction back to my karaoke room after went for toilet. turn many round in karaoke box but still couldn't find my room number. fanstastic!!
   
4. I cannot drink beer. I will get dizzy and drunk easily just with half of cup. Most of time, I pretending still awake, try best to walk in straight line, and concentrate when people still talking. but actually, I'm drunk! I just try hard to make myself looks like still awake until I reach my home and saw my bed. However, My favourite drink is not beer, but is whisky, brandi and cocktail. better don't let me to drink too much, because I will be dare to do many things after some alcohol into my stomach!
   
5. I don't like to overnight at somewhere that other than my own house. Cause it make me couldn't sleep well. I used to sleep with half naked. A big shirt with a panty. the most comfortable way to sleep at night with my pillow & blanket.
   
6. I feel disappointed about the friendship between girl. A lot of girls will disappear and back to their own life when getting a bf. like that's the only things and the most important things in their whole life until they are face some obstacles or been "dump" by bf, then will only comes to you like a wall for lie. for this kind of person, Just wanna tell u... pls learn to arrange & manage your life schedule. for me, friend doesn't means in this way! And you already made me disappointed for twice, not for 3rd! Anyway, there's still some of good buddies in my life, I feel great with them and appreciates.
   
7. Sometimes, I will wear on my mask and look at this world and some of the peoples. How childish, stupid and ridiculous they are! fake enough! Hi and bye is enough for them. no more effort needed. sometimes, mask is great to protect myself being hurt by others.
   
8. Sometimes, some people say I looks ego & a bit self-center. Yes, sometimes I'm. Just because i really lazy to chat with you on stupid topic. You can away from me if you don't like. I wil only show my kindness and my smiling for those who worth for it. and how u guys treat me, i wil give it back to you. that's simple. fair & equel.
   
9. I love my family and relatives very much, I love some of friends very much and I like my Leo very much. For me, they are part of my life besides of career or money.
   
10. I'm the one lack of confidents and doubt on myself sometimes. and my health is very suck. sometimes, I blame on self become a burden for others. especially when I was sick. For parents, they non of options. I was born as their daughter but how about my life partner? he can still get someone better. no matter how, I still trying hard to pursue on my desire, overcome my obstacle. Always become powerful when there's no where for me to escape from the problem.

显灵

今天是我公公和婆婆的忌日，很多年都不曾去上香给他老人家了，今天难得大家都得空，一个失业当中，很明显是在说我自己。而另一个，我弟等待开课中，所以我们俩七点多早晨就起床了，陪爸妈去仪山探望他老人家。要知道，我们都是夜猫子，要我们晚点睡或不睡还可以，但早睡早起，还是免了吧！

到仪山第一件事，当然是乖乖的敬敬孝道，上把香给他老人家，再说上几句悄悄话了。双手握着三支香，双眼满是怀念和诚意的在心里默念：

“我亲爱的公公婆婆，你们的乖孙女来为你们上香了。好久不见了。相信你们应该过得还不错。所谓“无事不登山宝殿”，我想你们应该猜到我想求什么的对吧？没错！就是你们的孙女还蛮争气的，大学毕业了，需要一份好工作！所以，保佑保佑。。给我一份好工作。要好的ｈｏｒ～谢过谢过～”

如果我是他们，听到这一段，心里应该会想：“这个si zha boh(福建音),　三百年不曾来上香，一来就跟我讨工作！ 来看我还有条件！”　呵呵呵～

然后，六点左右，我那头狮子打来说“你有收到我的信息吗？回电给那个号码。我刚接到他们的电话，他们要你明天就去应征。我知道你没办法赶下来，你打过去跟他们谈谈。。。”

虽然现在八字还没一撇，但是。。。。。。。。。。

我的阿公阿婆。。。
你们。。。。不会酱显灵吧？？？？？

早知道，求多两三个。。比如　“钱从天而降把我砸死～”
失误失误～

Job Searching

Before I start on my main topic today, let me share with you guys some of the dialogues between my mother & I.

***********************************************************

Few years ago
Mother: Are you going to auntie's house in this coming holiday?
Me: No. Auntie's staying at Teluk Intan. It's a bit far from KL. I am afraid of long-distance with public transport.

Currently
Me: Dad, Can you help me to buy a bus ticket to singapore for this coming 10th Jan?
Mother: Ohhh~ Go Auntie's there is far but singapore is not??? I just realised Singapore is nearer than Teluk Intan from KL. Since when you are no more afraid of long-distance?
Me: .........................................................................

***********************************************************

Few Months ago
My auntie's: You shall try in singapore after graduated. Singapore is safety compare to KL and can earn more... blar blar blar~
Me: eh~ I Don't like singapore. Singaporeans is very ego, food is sucks, lifestyle is very boring and too systematic & not as fun as KL..blar blar blar~

Currently
Me: Mummy and daddy, I just sent my resume to few of Singapore based companies.
Parents: .................................................................

***********************************************************

Yes, That's what had happened in my life currently. Don't laugh! I know I'm very contradict. The only reason that I able to provide is... "Love is Blind"... or "This is so called The Power of Love"......(most is because of Singapore currency.)

For this reason, I trying hard currently to search on jobs and sent over my resume. Actually I had though a lot in mind before to make the decision. A bit dilemma as I was facing with this situation. Asking myself "should I start my career in Singapore or just get back to my comfort zone in KL." I worrying couldn't adapt in new environment, a place that I unfamiliar at the meanwhile far away from my family. I lack of confident about my own capability and I worrying I couldn't handle well in my jobs. Especially with my language obstacles now. How could I fight with those Singaporeans? There's a lot of questions in my mind & desperate for an answers. Confident is needed, braveness is needed & encouragement is needed too.

However, I did tried to push my self to move on. Asked myself to take every little obstacles as another challenges in life. A way to learn and be stronger. Just try it out and give a chance to myself to explore further in life. There's some position I had applied within this two days such as marketing coordinator, marketing assistant, marketing executive, business development executive, marketing planner, Marketing Specialist, Advertising & promotions executive. The marketing positions that I had applied are not exactly based on sales, most is about strategy and brand management that related to advertising. (I keep asking myself don't scare by the job titles.) By the way, I wish I able to get the feedback for interview so that I could contribute in my family, share the burden for my daddy. Otherwise, I need to find another job in KL again..which is underpaid T.T Good luck to myself!

思维

今天，有位朋友跟我苦诉他现在每月的工资和消费是平等的，没办法为他的银行存折增额，没办法实行他的梦想计划。我说这也是没办法的事，毕竟有些家庭负担和开销是无法避免的，必须靠我们这些做子女的、做老大的默默去承担或分担。不要期望别人会体会你的难处，也千万不要期盼别人会替你分担，大多时候，他们都会觉得你的钱比他们来得好赚，殊不知苦的时候，疲惫的时候并没有人看得见。就算看见了明了了，也大可假装不知情。毕竟是关乎于钱的事情，遂愿意去占这浑水？

世上有其两种不同思维的人：

第一种人，他们会迁就于他们的生活方式， 压抑他们对生活和物质的要求来平衡他们的开销和收入。两千收入有两千收入的生活方式，一千收入也可以以一千收入的水平过活。他们的名言“知足常乐”就好。把钱，看得比水还淡，生命很短，何必让自己为钱而活？最重要是好好的享受生活。物质是什么？汽车？小小辆能代步的灵鹿 (Kancil) 就好。房子？板屋不是房子吗？快乐最重要，够用就好。

第二种人，与其迁就和压抑，他们宁可探寻更多的途径来增加他们的收入， 提高他们的生活水平和物质需求。小小的投资开始。任何可以尝试的机会，他们都愿意去了解。

对我来说，我绝对是属于第二种人。你可以说我是对物质和生活有所要求的人。但至少，我愿意用双手和脑袋去兑换。知足常乐，固然是好。容易知足的人们往往过得比较轻松自如。但，总觉得，太过于知足的人，难听点就像是生活没了目标一样。他们总是停留在原点上，原地踏步，不曾迈进，或者是慢步地迈进。久而久之，生活方式就越来越慵懒， 承担压力和责任的能力每况越下。与其说是所谓的“知足常乐”。还不如说是不愿承认自己的失败和对生活的胆怯，同时为自己的懒惰找借口。就算不为自己，也该为将来的伴侣和家人努力点，上进点，为他们提供更好的生活环境和保障。所谓的“Achiever”通常都比前者来的劳累和承受更多的压力。但是，再辛苦也只是在前头。先苦后甜也没什么不好的。世上没有白吃的午餐。如果两个人愿意一起努力的话，很多事情都会实现的。

我绝对欣赏上进、有魄力，对事业生活都有点野心和责任感的男人。总觉得他们的那一份自信和冲劲很令人动心。

你们觉得呢？

Plan on my coming Bangkok Trip

Today I just planned out something with my Leo's for our Bangkok trip on this coming 11th Jan. Both of us prefer as a backpackers this time. So, some of the basic homework must has be done before we fly over there. Below is agenda for our 5 days trip at the moment. Just a draft btw.

Day-1

• Arrived Thai international airport at 0900.
• Check in Suk11, a budgeting but very localize hostel for backpacker.
• Free and easy walk in Bangkok and book for 1day trip package for our following day.
• Dinner at Cabbages & Condoms Restaurant at Sukhumit Road.
• Kao Shan Road at night.

Day-2

• Ayutthaya 1 day trip

Day-3

• Wat Phra Kaew & Grand Palace
• National Museum
  
• Wat Arun (sunset view)
  
• Vimanmek Royal Palace
• China Town

Day-4

• Khachanaburi 1day trip

Day-5

• Damnoen Saduak floating market
• Forensic Museum
  
• shopping hours for souvenir

Still thinking.. where should I insert for our massage session & nightlife...I not prefer the trip become too rushing or too pack. cause you might miss out a lot of details when you are rushing from one spot to another spot^^

"nice food has to taste it slowly!"
not for quantity but is quality!!!

For the quality, sometimes, we need to sacrificed on some others spots. We cannot be too greedy. Which one is priority and which is not, we have to pretty clear in our mind. Anyway, plan can change by any times... Just Relax~Can't wait for it seriously~